Friday, August 12, 2011

Patty Cake Patty Cake - TSA Man

430a Thursday morning, we are dropped of at TS Green to start our trip to Salt Lake City. First stop is the ticket counter, but they are not there yet. Finally get our tickets next stop Security.

We are standing in line and make our way to the plastic buckets to place our shoes, laptop, well everything we are carrying on that we are not wearing. I have absolutely nothing in my pockets, but wearing my riding gear for the trip.

As we approach the passageway to vaca land, I am told to go right. Right is the metal detector. I get waved thru, BEEEEEEP. They say do you have anything on you. Nope is my reply. Please step back and come back thru. BEEEEEEEP. WTF It can't be the metal clip on my riding pants.

It then dawned on me about my knees. I say oh I got new knees. They simply ask me to step over to the Pat Down Station.

The TSA officer explains what he is going to do and why. He says do you want a private screening. I am thinking strip club now. I say I am perfectly comfortable out here. He proceeds to pat me down. At no time did I think he did anything inappropriate

He takes off his gloves and processed them thru a machine. He then inform me that I will have to go thru the Pat Down again, Private Screening Mandatory.

Another officer comes over, we go off to the private room. MeAsWe says can I watch, they say sure. Again he explains exactly what he was going to do and asks are you ready. I say go for it. As he is performing the pat down, I thought to myself would it be funny if I started to moan and gyrate. I passed, figured it was not time for a comedy routine.

He processed the gloves thru the machine and I pass.

I have to say I never found the experience to anything but professional. These guys got a tough job, and not one I would want to perform all day.

Let the next Touch Down proceed, Salt Lake City

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